Days 23 & 25: I'm just making my own rules now!

Day 23: Favorite movie...didn't we cover this already? Ah, yep we did. The short answer is: The Notebook. But check out Day 7 for my top movies list!

My sister and I dancing at our cousins wedding

Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs. This should be interesting...or not. I have quite the eclectic taste in music. I really need more than the 233 songs I currently have on my iPod. When I say I like all kinds of music I really mean, everything. Music is a big part of who I am and I feel strongly one should never restrict themselves as far as music is concerned and so I never have. I can find something I like in every kind of music. Some people are excellent at remembering lines in movies and tv shows, I'm that way with music.

1. T.I. Live Your Life (feat. Rihanna)
2. Taylor Swift- Haunted
3. Kenny Chesney- Young
4. Brad Paisley- She's Everything
5. Nickelback- Far Away
6. Kenny Chesney- Anything But Mine
7. Fergie- Clumsy
8. Katy Perry- Firework
9. Taio Cruz- Dynamite
10. Josua Radin- Today

Okay, well not as exciting as I had hoped but you might get the idea.

Day: 24 coming soon!

The Black Hole! aka Day 22

When I first read through the 30 day blog challenge this one already had me laughing. "Day 22: What's in your purse?" My purse is just ridiculous! I blame diaper bags, and having to carry them around for 9 years. My purse is most definitely a glorified diaper bag. I never carried a real purse. I skipped right over it and started carrying a diaper bag when Connor was born. Actually, I didn't even own a diaper bag until they sent me home with the free one from the hospital. I quickly realized that if I ever really wanted to leave the house for more than 10 minutes with a baby, a fully stocked diaper bag was a must.  I was a pro at stocking a diaper bag, too. After a couple of trial and error runs I seemed to always have the exact amount of diapers, wipes bottles and whatever else to make the kid happy. Then came Aubrey, 2 kids in diapers, so 2x everything. Then came Alli and for just a few months 3 kids in diapers and 3x everything. As they got a little older I began to have a little something to keep each of them content for whatever stage we were in. 

I had a brief period of time when Connor was almost six and Alli was potty-trained where all of a sudden I didn't need a diaper bag anymore. A generic change of clothes kept in the car "just in case" was enough for most occasions. I toyed with the idea of carrying a bag just for myself, a real big girl purse! The thought of having something all to myself was such a novel idea, I just had to try it out. It didn't take long before I figured out that it was just plain impossible to have such a thing really all to myself. I kept a purse for a couple of years, never really loving the idea, in fact I can't even remember what they looked like. Before I knew it I was pregnant with Olivia anyway. That's when the real fun began, this was right about the same time that some genius figured out that even though we had babies that might love cutesy, cartoony, fluffy things, didn't mean us moms loved carrying a bag with all of that on it. They came up with modern, stylish attractive-to-the-adult-actually-purchasing-the-bag, bags. That's really when I fell in love with (diaper) bags. I had gotten a great one when Connor was little a sage green diaper bag from Land's End, it was awesome but not so stylish.

After going through a couple of decent, but not to love diaper bags I found a super cute mod, pink and brown dots bag on clearance at Target. It was a sweet deal and I loved it. Unfortunately the inside seam split and Olivia was potty trained early so I put up with it a few months and never got a replacement. I would probably still use it in rotation these days if not for that darn seam. Oh well!

 The first real purse I fell in love with was one my mom bought me for Christmas of 2009, yeah that's right I was 29 before I took carrying a purse seriously and actually fell in love a purse. I also got tons of compliments on my purse, which made it even better. I carried it for a full year! Which brings me to my current purse. The purse I have now is from Phillip and Connor, they went out and bought it together for Christmas last year. I love it because it's pretty and black and because it was something my boys got for me together. That said, it is such a collector of crap it's crazy! 

In this sense I am so much like my mother! In most things I don't know there would be much about me that I would claim to get from her. Well, there are a couple of things. We're loud, we both enjoy the company of others and we both keep things, that don't make much sense to anyone else, in our purses. Similarities end there, I'm pretty sure. Here is the list, to the best of my ability of things in my purse.

• My makeup bag (I prefer to do makeup while riding in the car)
• 1 wallet for money
• 1 wallet for medical cards, gift cards, rewards cards etc.
• A box of crayons
• A stack of mostly useless receipts
• 3 pens
• 1 large paper clip
• A hair brush 
• A twisty thing off the top of a bottle of some sort
• 1 mitten from a magnetic dress-up doll
• 1 magic wand
• A picture of Gir Connor drew for me

• A stack of mail which includes but not limited to: Insurance statements, a bill, a wedding invitation (from February), a bank statement and a letter from school
• WIC checks and shopping guide
• A spiral notebook
• A hackey-sack
• A tube of bubbles
• A Christmas ornament that I keep meaning to stick in a box at my in-laws
• 2 mis-matched socks (because a mis-match pair is better than none at all)
• Lotion
• Hand sanitizer
• Nail polish
• 1 eraser cap
• 3 coupons for mouth wash
• Keys that need to be returned because they don't fit
• A reminder card for a dentist appointment in March
• A Java Jump rewards card
• Valentines day Mickey Mouse stickers
• The skirt from a Snow White pocket doll
• A pack of gum with one stick left
• A Valentine's Day card to Olivia from Phillip and I
• 3 pennies
• 1 nickel
• A couple of crumpled blank pieces of paper

I think that's it. As you can see the insides of my purse became a game of show and tell. Olivia was on a treasure hunt and so excited to find her Valentine's Day card. I found it funny that the last thing I pulled out was a cookie fortune that read: "You discover treasures where others see nothing unusual".

please excuse the laundry, we are right in the middle of laundry day(s) it'll be done tomorrow, promise!

 Thanks for following!

Cliffs Note Version of Days 16-21

Sometimes life gives you lemons and sometimes it all out takes a dump on your head. We've sort of found ourselves in the crap all over you part. Phillips mom has been battling cancer since 2003 and recently has been put on Hospice. While right now she has been doing amazingly well and has even improved over the last couple of weeks, we are walking the finest of lines. There is no telling, especially with a woman of her determination, how long we are really looking at. As if that isn't enough (and I must tread carefully here...) we are dealing with the serious addiction of another family member. It's hard to tell how much and what this person is on, if they have just lost their mind or if it is the addiction. This person has done something that completely crossed the line, as far as I'm concerned. Because I put my foot down and got upset and said "enough is enough", I have now been labeled as the Bad Guy, anything that has gone wrong in their life in the last two weeks, the blame is put squarely on my head. Any inexcusable behavior that they have participated in is because of the hurt that I have caused them, or at least that's the broken record story. I have been shocked, and hurt, confused and angry and this unbelievable situation. I haven't been allowed to have a voice, I haven't had a chance to explain my feelings about the situation. However, they, on a daily basis continue to drag me through the mud. I have no gain to go into further detail but you'll have to trust me when I say this is a terrible and (emotionally) abusive situation. It hurts me, I hate to see my husband have to go through the pain of what is going on with his Mom and then add this on top of it. My kids have now been involved and affected. I am a Momma Bear, and you don't mess with my kids and my family. Period. I have to have faith and trust that the truth of this situation will be known. I just hope it's sooner than later and it can be resolved before it's too late.


What does this have to do with my lack of blogging? For me, it's hard, very hard, to write about fluff when there is so much heavy stuff that sits unresolved. I can do it, but the perfectionist in me doesn't accept the sub par work that results. Then I argue with myself about whether or not to post such b.s. On top of this I have felt a lot of pressure not to air my feelings regarding this situation, out of fear for what such an unstable person might do as a result of my words. At this point I am so sick and tired of not being able to confront the situation as well as not having anyway of defending myself that I'm speaking out anyway. It's not as if this person will really read what I have to say anyway. At this point they are ignoring Phillip and I. Which is the grown up version of pouting.


Enough about that. There actually have been some really good things that have come out of the last two weeks. We have decided to focus more on our family, the kids specifically. This has made a huge difference in them, in fact I would like to write a post about each of them and how they have grown through all that has happened in the last year. We'll have to save that for later. Phillip and I have grown even closer together, he has shown to me how much our family, our marriage and our relationship really mean to him. I am such a lucky woman to have a man who loves and cares for me the way only he can. We are a team, we share in the burdens we carry, the trials we face as well as the happiness and success in life. I wouldn't have it any other way.


So, if there is so much going on, why not just quit the challenge? I refuse to give up, I promised myself that I would see this through to the end. It has also been so good for me to get back into writing. I want to finish the challenge. So here we go!


Day 16: Dream house
I dream of a house that has room for our family, 5 bedrooms would be perfect. A fantastic kitchen, that is big enough for all of us and more to hang out in, more of a gathering place. A living room where fun and laughter abound. I could care less for a stuffy formal room that is full of looking and no touching. I would like a rec/movie room for the kids to hang out in and have plenty of friends over, I would love to be the 'hang out' house. We'd like a pool table, too. I want a deck with lots of comfy chairs, perfectly shaded in summer for bbq's and relaxing. A pool for the kids and a hot-tub for the old people who need to soak their stress away. A yard for kids to run themselves into exhaustion. I also dream of a master bedroom full of relaxation. A master bath with a large soaking tub as well as a master closet in perfect organization. The best part of my 'dream' home is that I believe it will be a reality soon.

Day 17: Something you're looking forward to
Aside from my dream home? I look forward to Phillip to getting a job with wonderful benefits. I also look forward to my kids being out of the sibling rivalry phase.

Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat
LOVE mexican food. It is my fav. I prefer Azteca, Phillip prefers Casa De Oro but I would never pass on either.

Day 19: Something you miss
My Grandma, always. She was my second Mom. I refer to losing her, a lot, when Phillip and I talk about what's going on with Mom. I am most grateful for all of the time I had with her, and all that she taught me. I'm pretty sure I still think about her everyday. I'm glad to know that she isn't really that far away and one day I will see her again.

Day 20: Nicknames
"Megs" I like it. Shorty when I was in school but then the rappers stole it and put it in their songs. You should see the royalty checks I'm raking in!

Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
I was annoyingly photogenic as a child. The reason it's so annoying is that I outgrew it. I can take a decent picture now, too but I have to work a lot harder for it. There are worse problems to have, I suppose. So here is a recent pic that is my fav and an older one. There isn't one picture of all time, sorry to disappoint.

That's me in the pink blankie, with Grandma and Grandpa. This was before anyone realized I was a ball of fire!

Our wedding day! I was so happy and walking downtown Spokane in a wedding dress. Best. Day. Ever!

Back to Basics. Day 15

Matthew 25:40
"And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Day 14: A Year Ago...

This is me in January 2010. It was a week after I filed for divorce. I had an extra 50 lbs. from where I am today.  I was on my way back to life but it's a good example of what all of the stress had done to me. I had been falling apart physically and emotionally. I think the picture speaks for itself.
It didn't take long but I found myself again. I was on the right track. I knew that I had to wake up and start taking control over my life. I also knew I had to face every decision I made, right or wrong. It was a scary place to be after living for years in a fog and going along with what I thought I was supposed to do. I had to make those decisions. Start listening to myself, to that being inside (The Holy Ghost, Spirit, Conscience, whatever you believe it to be). Live by my moral compass and not anyone else's. It's amazing to me what finding that power within myself has done for me. I had to crawl out of my hole and live for the day that I had been blessed with. I needed to be alive and present for my kids. I had to realize that everyone has a right to happiness and hadn't done anything to be excluded from this privilege.
Scary, indeed. In order to live again I had to let down all of the walls that I spent building around myself. The ones that protected my heart from ache, and my ego from bruising. Every time there was a fear, there was a new wall. I spent years building those walls because of pain, and disappointment, I just didn't want to feel anymore. I got exactly what I wished for, and more. Not only did I not feel pain and disappointment, I pretty much didn't feel anything at all. A deep, dark empty hole of depression that I couldn't fill up for anything. The worst part was, all of that pain didn't go away because of the walls. Instead it sat there and waited patiently for me to take them down. So not only did I distance myself from the happiness, I saved the pain for later.
I'm in such a different place now. I can't believe what a difference a year makes. I just hope that if you look at me now you don't see the same person inside. I hope the damage, I have learned from, wasn't permanent. I love life, the good the bad, the pain and happiness.

Day 12-ish

I never leave the house without...my husband.
No really, this is pretty much true. We are always together. Because he lost his job at the beginning of February he has joined me in stay-at-home parenthood. I hate to admit it but he's better at it than I am and I'm not sure how things are going to flow without him. He's always keeping me on track and between the two of us life is organized and runs smoothly. I love my time with him and know it won't last forever, he'll return to work soon enough and I'll be flying solo. Although, solo, isn't exactly fair because he's always been really supportive of me staying home with the kids. He understands how important it is for the kids to have their mommy available. And now he knows it takes two of us full-time to do my job. Maybe I'll get lots of presents after he ditches me for a paying job. A girl can dream, right?
When the day does come that I can't leave the house everyday with my husband, I suppose the thing I'll have to replace him with is my iPod touch. She's my little miracle that does everything but make a phone call.

Day 10-11-12

Ok, so blogging everyday might be overrated. I might be saying that because I'm having a hard time keeping up. None the less, I shall keep forging ahead. Today will be three posts.

Starting with Day 11. Why? You ask. It's my blog and I want to. Neener-neener.

I am a TV girl. I love my TV and watch copious amounts. Well, I used to.  The good ol' telly had been a great way of escaping for me. The day to day stresses would get lost as I would delve into the ridiculous arguments on The View, or as I'd dance around with baby attached to my hip as Ellen would make her way around her audience movin' her thang to a catchy beat. Oh how I could laugh at those silly sit-coms, Friends, Seinfeld, and That 70's Show. I would easily solve everyone's problems right along with Dr. Phil. Don't forget the drama of Law and Order: SVU. My Olivia's name came from Mariska Hargitay's heroine character; Detective Olivia Benson. I realized a few years ago that my television consumption was a bit much, just in time for DVR. This handy device made it easier to choose which shows to watch while also allowing me to make sure to put my family first. If I didn't get have time to watch a show, I'd just delete it.

Now we don't have cable or satellite service. After paying far too much for cable for a couple of months we decided to invest our time and money in other things. Don't get me wrong, I still have a love for TV, probably will always like that mini-vacay from life. Now we turn to Netflix and Hulu. The great part about these services is the constant noise of the TV on in the background is gone. If it's time to watch TV we turn it on and choose one show, when it's over we turn it off. I have to admit, there was a teeny-tiny moment of panic when we did make that choice. Now, I am so happy we did. Because our means of receiving shows has changed, so has the availability of some of my old favs.  Here is the revised list of most watched shows.

Lie to Me- This show could be my favorite of all time
Kitchen Nightmares- A show Phillip turned me on to. It's a great one if you're in the mood to watch someone get torn apart and then put back together in a matter of 45 minutes.
The Office- Another classic, but Phillips not quite sold...yet.