1. I've been tempted to, but I haven't ever apologized for who I am. I'm sure it has something to do with how stubborn I am.
2. I can pin-point the grade I was in as well as the names of the bullies who crushed my spirit in school. (6th grade). I can tell you the grade I was in when I first felt "stupid" (1st) and the grade and the teacher who confirmed it (5th & Mr. Franks). For all of these reasons I'm proud of myself for graduating high school.
3. I believe that most of my family turned away from me in disgust the second I told them about my divorce. I'm sure they will always think it was my fault. They don't realize and probably won't believe me when I say it had to happen and it's the best decision I have ever made as an adult. What they did was extremely hurtful.
4. I spent the first 10.5 years of my adult life trying to convince everyone around me that I was married to the most amazing man on the face of the planet and I really wanted to believe it. He is a good guy but to everyone who said I shouldn't get married, you were right.
5. I do have raw feelings about my divorce, but it has nothing to do with the end of my marriage, and everything to do with the sheer number of people who left me standing alone.
6. I left my church because of a personal conversation that I had with a leader. I went to him for help and support and guidance because I was exhausted, my marriage was failing, and I felt as though life was going to swallow me up and spit me out. I literally said I need help. I turned to him because I felt I had nowhere else to go. He told me that I wasn't doing enough. He went down a list of what I needed to do more of. He put me down. I walked out of that meeting feeling more worthless of good things in life than when I went in. I never went back after that meeting and I have no regrets. I turned to myself for the strength I needed. I found out that I still can have a good spiritual relationship between God and myself. I'm not a bad person, I don't do bad things.
7. I have found happiness on my terms and it is amazing!
8. I've never been addicted to anything...oh except that one thing where you give all of yourself to everyone around you and ask for nothing in return and you're left feeling alone and depressed. Yeah, I've been the queen of that.
9. I think of my grandma everyday and wonder what she would tell me to do today. I believe that she is proud of the mother that I have become. I can't wait to see her again.
10. I regret not being in more sports in high school.
11. I will be successful in business.
12. I believe women are stronger than we are ever allowed to believe we are.
13. I was born with a gift to say anything with such determination that even when it isn't what I meant to say, or if it doesn't make sense, people believe me. It sometimes results in extreme laughter.
14. Sarcasm and laughter are my anti-drugs for mental health.
15. As hard as it can be, I love my life!
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